I never thought I would say this but…..

I now long for THAT someone who would always stick with me through thick and thin.
THAT someone who knows when i’m not okay, and would assure me that that’s okay.
THAT someone I can tell anything and everything. I want that someone who’s presence is felt even if he’s nowhere near. Someone who would never, ever turn his back on me when all else does. Someone who will love me for the way I am, and the way i’d be. -who thinks that i’m still beautiful even if my mascara is on the run. Someone who knows what to do at “my-time-of-the-month”, and that someone who can make me happy even with the smallest of things.

Hey! Earth to that someone! I’m heeeere!

How to love a woman.

“You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect – you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break – her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there.”

-Bob Marley

People are keep on asking “kelan ka magpapainom?” or “libre naman” or kahit na ano pang parang ganyan na iisa lang ang ibig sabihin. Then pag sinabe kong “wala”, bibwisitin ako, kakanchawan. Pwede ba, wag niyo akong pinepressure kasi you don’t know what i’m going through right now. No one can understand me. At isa pa, ako naman ang may karapatan magdesisyon sa kung anong gagawin ko kasi pera ko yung magiging involved. How can celebrating your birthday be this frustrating.

“You were the sixth. You are the last.”

 

A story that started with “How many have you loved before me?”.

The question is asked by the girlfriend and the boyfriend responded, “five.” Then the girl asked what the names are. He said they were “Who, What, When, Where, and Why.”

You should watch the whole clip if you wanna find out what those five W’s stand for. I myself felt happy and very emotional at the same time after watching this video. Knowing that my mantra for life is “good things come to those who wait” Hahahaha. And, Wong Fu Productions did it again! If you’re familiar with Strangers Again, this video clip , I bet, will definitely move you. :)

 

You are none of them… because you are all of them. You’re who I love—the girl on the pedestal, the fantasy, the make-believe things that are actually true. You’re what I love—the depth, the inside jokes, the best friend. You are when I love—a new history is being started with you. We are the young lovers our older selves will someday reminisce about. You are where I love because I’d go anywhere just to be with you. And you are why I love, because before you, I didn’t truly understand what I was looking for. Now that we’ve found each other, you have given my past and future meaning. You were the sixth. You are the last.”

Hair chaos

My hair is so fucked up.

It started when I had it cut last September. Turned out to be what I was not expecting. Well of course it looks nice after it was blow-dried in the salon but after I washed it, boom! It looks hideous, like a bird’s nest or something…. It’s some sort of messy and shaggy hairstyle. Since I’ve got a little time to prepare for school in the morning, I won’t be able to iron my hair to keep the “fly-away” in place that’s why I’m tying it in a bun.

I had thoughts of cutting it extra short, or having it straightened. And yesterday, I have my hair rebonded. And once again it’s a flop. It’s extra straight and it doesn’t fit my hairstyle. My face looks more bloated and I don’t know what to do with this anymore. Pulse decisions indeed turn out bad. Classes will start a week from now and I want to have it cut again, pixie cut this time. Ugh. Smh.

Delayed.

Supposedly, senior na ko next June at March 2014 dapat graduating na ko. Kaso. Nag-shift ako last semester. From Business Ad to Journalism. Kasi, sobrang hindi na ko masaya sa nauna kong course. In the first place, di naman talaga yun ang gusto ko. Nito ko lang narealize na dapat pala talaga, pinag-aaralan mo kung ano talagang gusto mo.

Artsy-artsy akong tao. At dahil dun, Fine Arts talaga kasi ang gusto ko. Ang kaso, hindi ako pumasa sa drawing exam nung incoming freshman pa lang ako. First batch akong nag exam sa UST at wala akong alam sa kung ano man lalabas dun. Wala rin akong kilalang higher batch na CFAD dun. Kaya ayun, di ako prepared at di ko alam na may drawing exam. Plus time pressured pa.

Nung bandang August ng 2010, nagiisip na ko mag-shift at mag transfer sa ibang school kaso nasasayangan ako sa oras at pera. Mahal ko na din ang UST kaya ayoko na din lumipat. Pero nung Summer, na-feel ko na, I wanted to take up what I want na. Kaso matagal na kong tumigil sa pag d-drawing dahil wala akong oras at di ko alam kung tatanggapin pa nila ako sa CFAD. (College of Fine Arts and Design) Eh since, mahilig din naman ako magbasa at magsulat, ba’t di na lang ako mag Communication Arts. Kaso (nanaman) hindi sila tumatanggap ng shifters. Last option, Journalism.

Sabi ko sa sarili ko, okay na din to. In fact, gusto ko din naman kasi magtrabaho sa media. As a photographer nga lang, not as a writer or broadcaster. Sa pagshi-shift ko, napakarami ko munang wi-neigh na mga bagay-bagay. Kagaya ng mga pro’s (gusto ko tong gagawin ko, masaya, sa media ang bagsak ko, gusto ko ang pagsusulat, may subj na photojournalism sa third year) at kung may pro’s, siyempre may con’s. Lots of con’s.

Unang-una irregular na ako. Walang permanent block. Eh may pagka anti-social pa naman ako. Hahaha. Tapos..  delayed na ako ga-graduate. Na dapat sa 2014, magiging 2015 na. Na-credit naman yung iba kong subjects before so mejo magaan ang load bawat sem at depende sa offered subjects. Kaso, nagkaron ako ng bagsak last sem. Isang subject, yung major ko pa. Kung titignan mo yung grades ko, hindi mo na mapapansin na may 5 dun kasi walang 3 nor 2.75. Eh kaso meron. Alam ko na wala sakin ang problema kung hindi nasa prof. Isa pa half the class ang bumagsak sa kanya. Hahaba tong post na to kung i-eelaborate ko pa kung bakit. Haha. Pero dahil nga sa nagiisang bagsak na yun, na pre-requisite na dapat kong i-take ngayon, underload ako (mga subjects). Na supposedly 24 or 27 units naging 15. Haha. Havey. Di kasi offered this sem yung mga dapat ko pa i-take. Kaya siguro imbis na 2015 March ako matatapos, baka maging 2015 October pa.

Mejo matagal din bago ko matanggap. Mga 40 mins. Pero okay lang. Kailangan ko na lang pag-butuhin pa ng sobra para yung GWA ko maging 2.0 and above para umabot yung quota ko makapag MA ako sa UP Diliman. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.